a.k.a. Don't give her a reason to kill you
Gentlemen, I have been blessed to have married the most amazing and fun person I know. Did I mention how beautiful she is? Okay, just wanted to get that out of the way before I start this topic.
Pregnant women can get a little crazy at times. My wife has always been a little crazy, but that is why we get along so well. Her crazy is a good crazy. Her crazy + My crazy = Crazy fun. Our crazies synchronize.
You know how some women can get when it is their time of the month. And you know how they get when you ask them if it is their time of the month. This is ten times more serious.
We all hear the horror stories of how crazy pregnant women can get. I have even experienced a few incidents where my friends get ripped apart for no reason. The thing is, they get a bit hormonal during pregnancy. And, after reading this blog, you should banish that word from your vocabulary. Never tell her she is hormonal. You will die.
This can be a very tricky situation. I am just figuring it all out as I go. But what I have found so far is that you need to make her believe you are on her side always. When she wants something, let her have it. If you are in Walmart and she joyfully runs up to the Hershey's syrup to caress it then look at you as if to ask if she can get it, do not ask what she will ever do with a gallon of chocolate sauce. Just smile and nod and tell her how glad you are she got so much because now you don't have to restrain your self to make sure she has enough. Let her know how thoughtful she was for thinking of you and give her a kiss.
Be very careful at this point. This is critical. You have to sell this or she will turn on you. If there is the slightest hint of sarcasm in your tone, you will die. The fact is, she didn't consider you at all. She wanted chocolate and lots of it. And if you stand between her and he chocolate, she will kill you without a second thought. Because, when those hormones kick in, you are not even a second thought.
Fortunately for me, my wife has not been moody or hormonal toward me at all. That just shows how good I am at this. I am again blessed that she doesn't get super mean PMS. She does get it but she is smart and kind enough to realize I didn't do that to her. She is also kind enough not to not care and take it out on me anyway. So, I am truly thankful for that. My wife is AMAZING!
To help stay alive, always tell her how amazing she is. More importantly, always tell everyone else how amazing she is. Because she is amazing. And it is amazing how she chose you out of all the men in the world. Tell her that too.
If this seems like a lot of work, it is. But, try to make it fun for you. Think of this as a spy mission or special ops. Maybe a black ops is better, because you don't exist until this is all over. Should you publicly screw up, forget that we banned the "H" word, and/or mysteriously disappear, she will deny ever knowing you. If you pull it off, you will officially be know as James Bond Baby Daddy. But only by other dad's. How awesome would that be?
Pregnant women can get a little crazy at times. My wife has always been a little crazy, but that is why we get along so well. Her crazy is a good crazy. Her crazy + My crazy = Crazy fun. Our crazies synchronize.
You know how some women can get when it is their time of the month. And you know how they get when you ask them if it is their time of the month. This is ten times more serious.
We all hear the horror stories of how crazy pregnant women can get. I have even experienced a few incidents where my friends get ripped apart for no reason. The thing is, they get a bit hormonal during pregnancy. And, after reading this blog, you should banish that word from your vocabulary. Never tell her she is hormonal. You will die.
This can be a very tricky situation. I am just figuring it all out as I go. But what I have found so far is that you need to make her believe you are on her side always. When she wants something, let her have it. If you are in Walmart and she joyfully runs up to the Hershey's syrup to caress it then look at you as if to ask if she can get it, do not ask what she will ever do with a gallon of chocolate sauce. Just smile and nod and tell her how glad you are she got so much because now you don't have to restrain your self to make sure she has enough. Let her know how thoughtful she was for thinking of you and give her a kiss.
Be very careful at this point. This is critical. You have to sell this or she will turn on you. If there is the slightest hint of sarcasm in your tone, you will die. The fact is, she didn't consider you at all. She wanted chocolate and lots of it. And if you stand between her and he chocolate, she will kill you without a second thought. Because, when those hormones kick in, you are not even a second thought.
Fortunately for me, my wife has not been moody or hormonal toward me at all. That just shows how good I am at this. I am again blessed that she doesn't get super mean PMS. She does get it but she is smart and kind enough to realize I didn't do that to her. She is also kind enough not to not care and take it out on me anyway. So, I am truly thankful for that. My wife is AMAZING!
To help stay alive, always tell her how amazing she is. More importantly, always tell everyone else how amazing she is. Because she is amazing. And it is amazing how she chose you out of all the men in the world. Tell her that too.
If this seems like a lot of work, it is. But, try to make it fun for you. Think of this as a spy mission or special ops. Maybe a black ops is better, because you don't exist until this is all over. Should you publicly screw up, forget that we banned the "H" word, and/or mysteriously disappear, she will deny ever knowing you. If you pull it off, you will officially be know as James Bond Baby Daddy. But only by other dad's. How awesome would that be?