For me that is.
Well, part of being a parent is that dreaded moment when it is time for school to start. Some parents look forward to it. I , however, am not talking about the kids going back. Nope, it is I who will be walking the halls of learning in but a few days. I have to say I am a bit nervous. It has been almost twenty years since I was in school. Things have changed a bit. I expect to be the oldest person in the class. But I don't want to be the guy who corrects the history teacher because I remember being there.
Speaking of things changing since I was last in school, I was looking for some pictures to add to this post and found a few things that made me worry a bit. How much have things changed? I was expecting something like this.
Speaking of things changing since I was last in school, I was looking for some pictures to add to this post and found a few things that made me worry a bit. How much have things changed? I was expecting something like this.
But what I found was more like this.
Okay, one of those advertised items we could have used before now. But, then I would not be writing this blog. What the hell is going on these days? It seems everything is about sex, alcohol, and drugs. I am expecting to see an email show up about my course options.
" Dear Mr. Hubigail's Dad,
We are honored to have you attending our community college. Since you have not chosen a major at this time, allow us to give you some options to consider. We specialize in careers of the future.
" Dear Mr. Hubigail's Dad,
We are honored to have you attending our community college. Since you have not chosen a major at this time, allow us to give you some options to consider. We specialize in careers of the future.
At our school, we can guide you on the path to becoming a brilliant Chemist. Did you enjoy Breaking Bad? Then come on down and break your bad self off a piece of knowledge and learn to mix up some stuff your buddies will enjoy.
Perhaps you are more prone to the Social Sciences. Learn how to loosen people up so they will share their feelings more openly, not to mention their deepest darkest secrets. Or, we can teach you why people do what they do and how to stop them from doing them at the most inappropriate times.
Is Physical Education more your speed? How about starting your career in athletics with us? We offer a wide variety of activities from tennis to yoga. Perhaps, with our help, you will be the coolest gym teacher ever.
Got a green thumb? Our horticulture department has "grown" dramatically under the guidance of Prof. H.R. Puffenstuff. If you want to learn to grow plants, we can teach you to do it indoors, outdoors, or off in a secret area in the middle of the forest. As a bonus course, Prof. P will teach you the ins and outs of booby traps.
If growing is not your thing, have you considered a career in Law Enforcement?
Whatever your choice, our staff will be there to offer assistance in any way we can. Congratulations again on choosing not to work at McDonald's for the rest of your life. Wendy's has a much nicer healthcare plan.
Sincerely,
Community College Staff"
Sincerely,
Community College Staff"
That letter has not shown up yet. But seriously, I am a little concerned about where the world is headed. When did college stop centering around guys who tried to be Bill Murray? When did students stop harassing the Dean in order to continue their poorly thought out hijinks? Do they still have Deans? I will admit that my only experience with college is through watching '80's buddy movies. So, I don't know how qualified my opinions are.
It is hard to not think the worst when all you hear about, in relation to higher education, is alcohol abuse. In the good old days, students didn't abuse their alcohol. They drank it. With their mouth. They never participated in the practices of butt chugging, vodka tampons, snorting vodka, vodka eyeballing, and the like (vodka seems to be the major problem here). I bet you are wondering what those things are I just listed. Most of those are pretty self explanatory, but to save you a horrific Google image search, this is basically what butt chugging is.
It is hard to not think the worst when all you hear about, in relation to higher education, is alcohol abuse. In the good old days, students didn't abuse their alcohol. They drank it. With their mouth. They never participated in the practices of butt chugging, vodka tampons, snorting vodka, vodka eyeballing, and the like (vodka seems to be the major problem here). I bet you are wondering what those things are I just listed. Most of those are pretty self explanatory, but to save you a horrific Google image search, this is basically what butt chugging is.
And I am supposed to go learn with these people? I don't know. I am too old for that stuff. Maybe it will give me an advantage in the class room. Maybe my professors will remember me from high school when we took English together.
What makes it worse is that I don't know what I want to be when I grow up. And what makes that worse is that I should have already grown up. When I talked to the adviser, she asked what my major is. I don't have a clue. She asked what I was interested in doing. I told her I was good at growing plants and I have a knack for psychology. She told me I couldn't have picked two fields farther apart. Actually, there is a thing called Horticultural Therapy that combines those two very things. However, finding a job once you gain your degree is pretty tough. So, we are saying I am a psych major for now. But, I can't stand listening to people's problems. What is a guy to do?
Anyway, I am sort of all over the place on this blog entry, so I will get back to the point. The reason I am going back to school is so I can have a career. The way you know you have a career versus having a job is if you get an hour for lunch or not. I would like to have an hour for lunch. And, I would like to be able to provide for my family. Little Hubigail is going to cost a fortune before he/she makes it through college. I would like to be able to contribute to that in some small financial way. And since the lottery isn't working out for me, I need an education.
I guess I should mention that my wife is also attending the same school. She is already well ahead of me. Her goal is to be a dental hygienist. So, if schooling doesn't work out for me, I have her to fall back on. Nothing wrong with having a sugar momma.
Going to school together will be an adventure. I can't wait to see what trials pregnancy and schooling will throw our way. This term will be fine, but the next term will be cutting it close as far as the due date goes. Hopefully, Hubigail will realize that we are doing this for him/her and have the decency to wait until after finals to be born. Whatever happens, I am sure that it will be humorous in some way. It always is.
What makes it worse is that I don't know what I want to be when I grow up. And what makes that worse is that I should have already grown up. When I talked to the adviser, she asked what my major is. I don't have a clue. She asked what I was interested in doing. I told her I was good at growing plants and I have a knack for psychology. She told me I couldn't have picked two fields farther apart. Actually, there is a thing called Horticultural Therapy that combines those two very things. However, finding a job once you gain your degree is pretty tough. So, we are saying I am a psych major for now. But, I can't stand listening to people's problems. What is a guy to do?
Anyway, I am sort of all over the place on this blog entry, so I will get back to the point. The reason I am going back to school is so I can have a career. The way you know you have a career versus having a job is if you get an hour for lunch or not. I would like to have an hour for lunch. And, I would like to be able to provide for my family. Little Hubigail is going to cost a fortune before he/she makes it through college. I would like to be able to contribute to that in some small financial way. And since the lottery isn't working out for me, I need an education.
I guess I should mention that my wife is also attending the same school. She is already well ahead of me. Her goal is to be a dental hygienist. So, if schooling doesn't work out for me, I have her to fall back on. Nothing wrong with having a sugar momma.
Going to school together will be an adventure. I can't wait to see what trials pregnancy and schooling will throw our way. This term will be fine, but the next term will be cutting it close as far as the due date goes. Hopefully, Hubigail will realize that we are doing this for him/her and have the decency to wait until after finals to be born. Whatever happens, I am sure that it will be humorous in some way. It always is.