a.k.a. Live longer so you can torment your child for a few more years.
Fun Fact: Your baby momma is going to come under fire from the doctor or midwife to start being more healthy.
Funner Fact: So are you.
Funnerest Fact: I know funner is not a real word. But if you are hung up on what is real and what isn't, your kid is going to grow up with a stick in it's butt. I am sure scientist have proven this with a very sciency study.
Anyway, we went with a midwife for this pregnancy. She is very fun. I know this because she keeps telling us. This is fun! Isn't this fun? We are having so much fun! But, as fun as watching a pap smear is, she never misses an opportunity to take a stab at our health habits.
Funner Fact: So are you.
Funnerest Fact: I know funner is not a real word. But if you are hung up on what is real and what isn't, your kid is going to grow up with a stick in it's butt. I am sure scientist have proven this with a very sciency study.
Anyway, we went with a midwife for this pregnancy. She is very fun. I know this because she keeps telling us. This is fun! Isn't this fun? We are having so much fun! But, as fun as watching a pap smear is, she never misses an opportunity to take a stab at our health habits.
Smoking is bad. We all know this. But smoking and pregnancy is even worse. Not just during pregnancy either. My dad pointed out to me that smoking and newborns are a problem too. I told him that was ridiculous because newborns don't even have the hand/eye coordination to get the cigarette to their mouth let alone flick a Bic . Smoking and four year olds, now that has the potential for disaster. I think the point he was trying to make was that we should quit altogether.
When my wife found out, she decided she was going to quit. She cut down immediately. A day or so later, she took a puff and put it out and said, "I am done". And she was. I am very proud of her for that. I, however, do not have a little genetic reproduction growing inside of me that tells my body that smoking is disgusting and I will throw up if I take one more drag. I have been doing better than my wife. Since she quit once, I have quit four times. So, there. Actually, I have cut down from a pack or more a day to about 8. So, yay me. I just have to keep cutting down. Or maybe I need to get the patch. Who knows?
When my wife found out, she decided she was going to quit. She cut down immediately. A day or so later, she took a puff and put it out and said, "I am done". And she was. I am very proud of her for that. I, however, do not have a little genetic reproduction growing inside of me that tells my body that smoking is disgusting and I will throw up if I take one more drag. I have been doing better than my wife. Since she quit once, I have quit four times. So, there. Actually, I have cut down from a pack or more a day to about 8. So, yay me. I just have to keep cutting down. Or maybe I need to get the patch. Who knows?
Another thing was for her to exercise more. As an added bonus, I get to do so as well. I am not in the best physical condition. I agree that more exorcize is warranted. Not a problem. To do that, my wife and I incorporate our exorcize with our dates. We are not the wealthiest people. In fact, I would say we are downright poor. Our dates usually consist of trips to WalMart or the dump. Hey, you do what you gottta do. If you like each other enough, you can have fun doing anything just so long as you are together. So, when on our WalMart dates, we take a few extra laps. This is not always easy when other people tend to stop in the middle of the aisle because obviously there are no other people shopping there. But I digress.
If that were not enough, we, yes we, (you should know by now that all the good stuff is her and all the bad stuff is we or you) have to eat better. I think it was over a year ago that we quit eating wheat. Don't worry, this is not going to turn into a wheat free sermon. I am just informing those who are interested. You can go look up wheat and the effects that it has on your body for yourself. I personally have seen many many changes for the good. Aside from a long list of physical improvements, there are others. We now pay a lot more attention to what is in our food. We also do not have the option to go out and pick up McDonald's whenever we want to. Since McDonald's is one of the worst places you can go to eat, this is a blessing for sure. Anyway, our dietary choice makes changing our diet a lot easier.
But what is the point of being healthier if all you get is living longer without eating anything you want to? I don't know. Maybe it is so you will have the energy to chase after your little Hubigail. Or, as I like to think of it, more time later in life to deal out payback for the hell they are going to put you through over the next several years. That will totally be worth eating more vegetables.
Actually, a healthy mom promotes a healthy baby. And a healthy dad helps a mom to be healthy. So, you are doing your part for the baby by doing what you are told. Now that you are helping your lady be more healthy, I have one thing to say. Who's a good boy? It's you. Yes it is. You da good boy. (scratches behind ear).
But what is the point of being healthier if all you get is living longer without eating anything you want to? I don't know. Maybe it is so you will have the energy to chase after your little Hubigail. Or, as I like to think of it, more time later in life to deal out payback for the hell they are going to put you through over the next several years. That will totally be worth eating more vegetables.
Actually, a healthy mom promotes a healthy baby. And a healthy dad helps a mom to be healthy. So, you are doing your part for the baby by doing what you are told. Now that you are helping your lady be more healthy, I have one thing to say. Who's a good boy? It's you. Yes it is. You da good boy. (scratches behind ear).