a.k.a. "Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!" he screamed silently in his head.
Pregnancy for women is rough. Pregnancy for men is no picnic either. We, as men, understand that women go through a lot of changes when they are pregnant. When we bring up the subject of male torture, women feel as if we are belittling their experiences and physical torture or attacking them. That is not the case. Men just want women to see that men are affected by the things that affect women while they are being tortured.
Speaking of torture, the pain and discomfort a man experiences throughout this process (yes, we do experience pain and torture right along with you) is mental. Sometimes it is physical, but usually mental. Depends on the pregnant woman.
Here is the deal. While you are busy getting bigger and more miserable, we are busy trying to make this whole experience a little more pleasant so we might escape alive. While your body is trying to split apart from the inside, our minds are trying to explode out of our skulls. To better explain, let's start at the beginning and I will walk you through the male pregnancy process.
There are several ways this can go but I will take the more common reaction path. Way back in the before time, men are usually pretty happy in their life plan. They have a good idea as to what direction they are headed. So when the lady of their life drops the baby bomb, they are typically shocked.
I have written about this topic before. But, I am going to go over it a bit again just because I feel like it. The world sees the father man as a blundering idiot. He will forget anything important. He is incapable of doing anything right. And apparently, he is a little boy in a man's body incapable of resisting any sort of distraction especially if it is shiny and he always will be. Don't believe me? Watch TV shows, commercials, and listen to people talk. Seriously, when you tell people you are going to be a dad they all come back with the same stereotypical BS we see on TV.
When a man accomplishes some pregnancy related feat, women talk about it as if he was a five year old who did something anyone else could have done better and faster. But the pride he feels for having the competency rating of a complete moron is just so darn cute. The sad thing about how horrible this is is that men have to endure it not only from women, but from other men too. Talk to any guy who has or has not fathered a child. Tell him you are expecting. He will give you the same old BS as the ladies. This is like being emotionally raped repeatedly and then raping someone else emotionally because that is how it has always been and how it always will be. It is a rite if passage. What a bunch of jokers. Guess what. Here is our brave hero now. I hope you are all happy with yourselves.
Perhaps our little Batman needs less villains to beat him down and more sidekicks to get his back.